196 The Pam Diaries
by Martinvdam
Summary: After rewriting some of my old season 9 fan fics earlier this year, I now wrote a completely new one for the first time in almost 8 years. Danny's sock drawer holds a secret he forgot about. The family finds old diaries, that belonged to Pam Tanner. Those diaries bring back memories and emotions for the family. I hope you enjoy this story.


**Full House****(Fan Fiction Season 9)**

**(9.04) 196 The Pam Diaries  
**Written by: Martin van Dam

_In Danny's sock drawer, the family finds old diaries that belonged to Pam Tanner. This brings back memories about her._

* * *

**Teaser:**

Stephanie Tanner and her aunt Becky walk towards the kitchen door of the Tanner house. Becky is carrying a big box.  
"Thanks for giving me a ride," Stephanie says.  
"I had to go to the mall anyway. I promised Jesse to get him some hair supplies for a week." Becky smiles when she speaks about her husband, who is obsessed with his hair.  
When she opens the door, Becky drops the box with hair supplies, because she's hit by water that flew through the air. She sees her twin sons, Nicky and Alex, aged three, running around the kitchen holding water guns.  
"Freeze right there, cowboys," Becky says.  
The twins stop running and turn around.  
"Boys, what are you doing?" Becky smiles.  
"We're bandits," Alex says.  
"We are on the run for the police," his brother Nicky adds.  
Stephanie looks around. "It looks like Flipper burst out of his fish tank here."  
"Boys, you know the rules. No playing with water in the house."  
"Oh man." Joey Gladstone, grown-up by age, but child at heart shows up behind the kitchen counter, dressed in scuba gear and holding a big water gun in his hands. "I almost won. Can't we just finish. Please?"  
Nicky and Alex both take a shot with their water guns and hit Joey in the face.  
"Looks like they just finished you off," Stephanie says.

- **Intro **-

Jesse Katsopolis and his wife Becky are in the Smash Club. For a couple of years now, Jesse owns the place. Jesse's hand is resting on the door knob of his office.  
"Are you ready?" He opens the door and they walk in.  
"Honey, this looks great," Becky says.  
Jesse smiles. "It does, doesn't it. Now I have an office and studio in one room.  
Becky walks around the room that used to be Jesse's office. But after some rebuilding, he added his studio, that used to be in the basement of the house they share with Danny Tanner and his daughters, to the office. The studio is separated from the office by a wall with a big window in it and a door.  
"I never realized your office was this big," Becky says.  
"It wasn't," Jesse replies, "I added some of the storage space to it. But having the studio here is so much better. Now bands that come to perform in the Smash Club can do a little rehearsal here if they want."  
"I love what you've done with it," Becky says. "DJ and Steve will be pleased you're finished here as well. Now they can finally start rebuilding the basement."  
"I'll take my tools home, so we can start work on the basement." Jesse says, "Danny urged me to put a lock on the outside of the basement door, and give him the only key."  
"He wants to make sure DJ doesn't sneak to Steve's place at night pretty badly, doesn't he?"  
Jesse shakes his head. "No, I think he wants to keep Steve from sneaking into the kitchen for a midnight snack."

Danny Tanner is in his bedroom. He struggles to open the top drawer in the cupboard.  
"Come on, open up." He desperately says.  
He pulls the drawer handles again, but to no avail.  
"Why are you doing this to me?" He asks, "I dust you off twice a week, polish you once a week and I arranged my socks alphabetically by color. So what else do you want me to do to give me access to my socks? Listen, if you let me open the drawer right now, I'll wax you tomorrow."  
His middle daughter Stephanie, aged 13, just walks in to see how Danny strokes the cupboard.  
"Dad? Why are you petting the furniture?" Stephanie asks.  
Danny let's go of the cupboard and turns around. "Hi honey. How long have you been standing there?" He smiles.  
"Long enough to know you really love that cupboard," Stephanie replies, "What were you doing?"  
"Comet drooled in my shoe," Danny answers, "So my sock is wet. Now I want to get a clean pair of socks, but the drawer is stuck."  
Stephanie smiles. "Dad, beloved father," she puts her hand on his shoulder, "padre mia, I…"  
Danny smiles back at his daughter. "Whatever it is that you want, the answer is no."  
"But dad, you haven't even heard what I had to say." Stephanie indignantly says, "I have cleaned my room. Twice. I did my laundry and I even dusted off the vacuum cleaner."  
"Okay, now I'm sure you want something from me," Danny says with a smile on his face.  
"Well, there is this one tiny little thing." Stephanie squeezes her index finger and her middle finger until they nearly touch each other.  
"What is it?"  
"Well, tomorrow night there's this great band performing in the Smash Club. Gia can go, and I was wondering if I could go as well." Stephanie gives Danny her sweetest smile.  
"You're still grounded." Danny firmly says.  
About two weeks earlier, Stephanie almost ran away with her best friend Gia Mahan. Although she merely did it to make sure her friend stayed out of trouble, she was grounded for a month.  
Stephanie sighs. "Dad, please. I've told you I'm sorry a thousand times the last couple of weeks. And if I can go tomorrow, I'll have two more weeks to miss having fun like that, so you'll even punish me more by allowing me to go. And I'll be home by twelve."  
"Ten." Danny says.  
"So I can go?" A bright smile appears on Stephanie's face.  
"I'll think about it." Danny says.  
Stephanie hugs her father. "Have I told you, you're the greatest dad in this world?" She lets her father go. "And if you have made your decision, I'll be in my room doing my homework."  
Stephanie leaves the room. Danny walks to the cupboard and again fails to open the drawer.

In the living room, DJ Tanner is reading a magazine. The front door opens and her youngest sister Michelle walks in.  
"Hey Michelle," DJ says.  
"Hey," Michelle sighs. She looks a little bit sad at her big sister.  
"What's wrong?" DJ puts the magazine on the coffee table and looks at Michelle.  
"Next Wednesday I have to hand in an essay about how we think our lives would be right now, if an important event from the past never happened. And I don't know what my teacher wants with this essay." Michelle sits down next to DJ.  
DJ ponders. "You see, a lot of people regret things they did or didn't do in the past, and they start thinking about how their life would have looked like if they had given those matters a different approach. And because they don't like the outcome of what they chose now, the logical conclusion would be that if they had done things differently, they would be happier. But that doesn't have to be the case, of course. Do you get where I'm going?"  
"No, but what if you tried again, maybe then I'll nderstand." Michelle says.  
"Okay, let me put it this way. I think your teacher wants you to consider the consequences of changing a bit of our history."  
"Okay…" Michelle ponders. "So like if school never existed, I could watch cartoons all day?"  
"Sort of," DJ answers, "And for instance what if uncle Jesse…"  
DJ gets interrupted by her uncle Jesse, who just walks in through the front door. "What's wrong with uncle Jesse?"  
DJ smiles. "I'm trying to help Michelle with an essay for school. Imagine you weren't born with such great hair. What would your life be like right now?"  
"Miserable," Jesse answers. "Michelle, is this an essay about hair care? I could help you out with some information about how you can avoid getting split ends. You see, you have to…"  
"It's not about hair uncle Jesse," Michelle says.  
"Oh, well. Just remember I'm there for you if you ever want to learn more about conditioners, shampoo and maintaining great hair like mine."  
Danny runs down the stairs. "Jesse, I am glad to see you."  
"Danny, if you want to have advice to salvage your hair, I think we'll be busy for quite a while," Jesse smilingly states.  
"No, that's not… Wait. Is it that bad? I should wear a kerchief when I'm cleaning, shouldn't I?"  
"Only if you want to sing 'I want to break free' when you're vacuuming," Jesse jokes.  
"I can't open my sock drawer. The thing is stuck and I'm walking on dog drool. So maybe if you could help me, we'll get it open.  
Jesse laughs. "You have come to the right man. In fact, I'm an expert in opening stuck drawers."  
Jesse follows Danny upstairs. Michelle gets up from the couch. "I have to see this."  
DJ follows her upstairs. "Me too."

Danny and Jesse walk into Danny's room. Michelle and DJ stand in the doorway.  
"Okay, watch this," Jesse confidently says, "It's all about subtlety."  
Stephanie joins her sisters. "What's going on? Is dad still having problems with the drawer?"  
Michelle turns around. "Uncle Jesse is going to show us how subtle he can fix the drawer."  
"I have to see this!" Stephanie says.  
"Why wasn't I invited to this party? I'm always left out!" Joey Gladstone enters the room.  
Jesse turns around. "Joseph, we're not playing here. This is serious business. Now you guys watch carefully how I subtly opens the drawer."  
Joey starts laughing out loud. "I have to see this!"  
Jesse rubs his hands and takes a deep breath. Then he slaps the front of the drawer with the flat of his hand, grabs the drawer handles and pulls them towards him. Then suddenly the drawer seems to be moving. A few seconds later, however, Jesse turns around, holding only the front of the drawer. The drawer itself is still in the cupboard.  
"Very subtle," Joey says.  
"Does subtle mean taking the drawer out bit by bit?" Michelle asks.  
"Well," Jesse turns his face to Danny, who's standing next to him, "I told you I could open the drawer for you. And now it's open."  
"Jesse, you just demolished my cupboard," Danny looks shocked at the drawer front in Jesse's hands. "Now my socks get dusty."  
"Don't worry, Danny, I'll get some glue and I'll stick it together again," Jesse assures Danny.  
Stephanie walks to the drawer. "Wait, what's that? Does that drawer have a second bottom?" She looks at the gap under the socks and above the next drawer. She puts her hand in the hole. "There's something in there." Slowly she takes a book out of the drawer.  
Danny silently looks at the book Stephanie is holding in her hand. His eyes get moist.  
"Dad, what's going on?" Stephanie asks.  
Danny takes the book from Stephanie. "I forgot about these diaries. That hole is the secret compartment under the sock drawer. Your mother made that secret hiding place herself."  
Danny sits down on his bed.  
"Is that mom's diary?" Michelle asks.  
"It's one of them. There should be some more in the drawer." Danny sighs as he's taking a trip down to memory lane.  
DJ sits down next to Danny. "I remember she gave me my first diary when I was seven years old. Something was bugging me and because I didn't want to tell her what it was, she gave me a diary so I could write it down and share it without somebody knowing it. It worked great. Until Stephanie learned to read." DJ glances at her sister.  
"Yeah, I remember Pam writing in those diaries as well," Jesse says.  
"Did she write a lot, dad?" Michelle asks.  
"Almost every day, honey. She didn't want to forget the most important moments, and writing them down was her way of keeping memories for when we were old." A tear rolls over his cheek.  
"And we still have her memories right there in your hands," Jesse says, as he points at the diary in Danny's hand.  
Danny stands up. "I'll put those memories away now. Socks, I need socks."  
"Dad, are you okay?" DJ asks with a concerned tone of voice.  
"Yeah I'm fine. I just need clean socks. Socks." Danny grabs a pair of socks from the drawer and puts it on his feet inside out.  
Michelle wants to tell her father his error with the socks, but DJ puts her hand on Michelle's shoulder. "Not now, Michelle. I think dad needs a few minutes alone with uncle Jesse and Joey."  
Stephanie and Michelle silently walk out of the room. In the doorway, DJ turns around and looks at her father while she wipes a tear off her face. Danny looks at her with moist eyes and nods while he tries to fake a smile. As DJ has left the room, Joey closes the door behind her.

Stephanie and Michelle are sitting on Michelle's bed. DJ is sitting on a chair.  
"Why did we have to go?" Michelle looks confused.  
"Those diaries brought back some memories for dad," Stephanie explains.  
"And he's feeling sad, but he doesn't want to cry in front of us," DJ adds.  
"Why not? Remember when Papouli died and you didn't want me to cry in front of uncle Jesse?" Michelle looks at Stephanie.  
Stephanie nods. "I know. And I made a wrong judgment then. But this is different."  
"How is this different?"  
"Well," DJ answers, "Dad doesn't want us to feel sad because he is sad. Finding mom's diaries just brought back some sad memories and uncle Jesse and Joey share those memories. I think they can help him feel better right now."  
"Why can't I cheer him up? He loves spontaneous hugs," Michelle nods.  
"Then give him one later," Stephanie smiles and hugs her little sister.  
"Hey, I have an idea," DJ says, "You know sometimes it's the simple things in life that can make people happier. So what if we made dinner today?"  
"Yeah, I think that would be a simple yet pleasant surprise for dad," Stephanie says.  
"Let's do it!" Michelle exclaims. "I will make dessert. And I'm not saying what I'm going to make."  
As they stand up and walk out of the room, DJ and Stephanie share an understanding look and simultaneously say:"Ice cream!"  
Michelle turns around in the doorway. "How did you know?"  
DJ and Stephanie smile as they all leave the room.

Danny is sitting on his bed with moist eyes. Jesse and Joey are sitting on each side of him.  
"Look at me, I see those diaries and I'm a mess. I don't want the girls to see me like this."  
"Hey, it's okay to feel sad sometimes," Joey, who puts his arm on Danny's shoulder, says. "And what if the girls see you crying over their mother? All they see is their father who still grieves over the loss of his wife and their mother. There's nothing wrong with that."  
"Yeah. You don't have to be strong all the time just for them," Jesse agrees with Joey.  
"Thanks. But it's been more than eight years ago. Why is it still so hard?" Danny shakes his head.  
"Because you loved my sister very much. And she loved you. The pain gets easier to live with, but it never goes away," Jesse answers.  
"I know. It's just…" Danny wipes his eyes clean with his hands. "It's just that I know this must be hard for the girls as well. Seeing their dad crying and…"  
Joey nods. "Danny. Don't worry about it. You can cry and the girls won't love you any less if you did. Trust me. You know, there's so many memories you can share with them."  
"Yeah, trust that man," Jesse adds, "You know Joseph, sometimes you can say very mature things. I'm impressed."  
"Thanks Jess," Joey responds. "I remembered that pep talk from an episode of The Jetsons."  
Danny smiles.  
"Was that a smile I saw young man?" Joey asks.  
"I think it was. And remember how Pam could always make a sad face shine? That really was one of her virtues." Jesse ponders.  
"Thanks guys." Danny stands up with a determined look on his face. "I'm going to see how the girls are doing."

DJ, Stephanie and Michelle are in the kitchen, when DJ's boyfriend Steve and her best friend Kimmy walk in through the back door.  
"Hey Deej. What's for dinner?" Steve asks.  
"Weren't you going to eat out with your old wrestling team?" DJ asks.  
"Yeah, But I can use a starter."  
"Well, then start helping me," Kimmy says. "Deej, can you tell your boyfriend to come to the mud pool in my backyard? This weekend is Gibbler all stars wrestling weekend, and this year I want to beat my brother Garth, so Steve has to help me train."  
"You want to mud wrestle with my boyfriend?" DJ asks.  
"Like a mud bath can fix that face." Stephanie smiles at Kimmy. Michelle laughs.  
"Well, I have to go, I don't want to miss the appetizer." Steve kisses DJ and leaves. Kimmy runs after him. "Hey, what about my wrestling training?"  
As Steve and Kimmy went out of the back door, Becky and her twin sons Nicky and Alex come in.  
"Hey girls," Becky says.  
"Hi," DJ, Stephanie and Michelle say together.  
"What's this? Are you cooking together?" Becky looks surprised at the girls.  
"Dad found mom's old diaries and that made him a little sad," DJ explains.  
"Oh dear. I think he'll love what you're doing now." Becky nods.  
"I'm making dessert," Michelle says.  
Nicky and Alex start jumping up and down and cheer. "Yay, ice cream! Can we have dessert now, mommy?"  
"How did they know what dessert would be?" Michelle wonders.  
Becky smiles. "I'll take these ice cream monsters upstairs to get them ready for dinner."  
"Okay, we're almost done. Can you set the table?" DJ divides some tasks.  
Stephanie and Michelle are putting plates and cutlery on the table, when Danny walks in from the living room.  
"Here you are. What's all this?" Danny looks around with a surprised look in his eyes."  
"We wanted to cheer you up," Michelle says, "So we made dinner. And I take care of dessert."  
"Oh honey, you know nothing cheers me up like ice cream sundays." Danny smiles.  
"How does everybody know my secret dessert?" Michelle exclaims.  
"Girls, you… Well I'm… surprised." Danny says. "I wish your mother could see this. She would have enjoyed it so much. Now come here."  
The girls go to Danny and the four of them have a family group hug.

A little later, the family is finishing their ice cream dessert. Michelle is just stirring her spoon around in her bowl of ice cream.  
"Michelle, what's wrong?" Danny asks.  
"I just realized I never knew mom. I miss her." Michelle answers.  
"We all do, Shorty," Jesse says, "There's not a day that goes by without me thinking about her."  
"Yeah, I think about her every day," DJ says.  
"Honey, it's okay to feel sad," Danny says. "And if you have any questions about your mother, you know we're always happy to tell you about her." Danny says.  
"But that's not the same," Michelle says. "I want to know what she was like and what she was thinking. I want to really get to know her. Like talking to her."  
"Honey, if there was a way to make that possible…" Danny says.  
"Well, maybe there is," Stephanie prudently says. "You have her diaries."  
"Stephanie." DJ shakes her head.  
"No, it's okay, DJ. I think that's a wonderful idea, but when I learned about those diaries, your mother made me pinky swear that I would never read them."  
"Danny, I know my sister and I know that she wouldn't mind if you or the girls read those diaries now. Like you said, she wrote them to keep memories. But also to be memorized."  
Danny sighs. "Maybe you're right. I guess it wouldn't hurt."  
Michelle walks to Danny and hugs him.  
"What was that for?" Danny asks.  
"I just felt like it," Michelle says.

Later that evening, DJ, Stephanie and Michelle are waiting in the living room. Jesse walks in from the kitchen with a plate filled with mugs.  
"Hot chocolate coming through," He says.  
Joey follows him. "And biscuits. Eat them while you can. I love those chocolate crisp cookies."  
When Danny walks down the stairs, carrying the diaries, the others stop talking.  
"I'm sorry guys, but I don't know where the keys are."  
"Don't worry dad, I know how to open a locked up diary without a key," Stephanie says.  
DJ glances at her sister. "Like that time you glued your hand to my diary?"  
"Well, I must admit it was a lot easier when I found the secret hiding place of the keys."  
Stephanie takes a diary and tries to open the lock.  
"Stephanie, my diaries are private, so there is a reason why I hide the key. You just shouldn't have been snooping around reading my diary. Right guys?"  
"Right," Jesse says. He's also holding one of the diaries, which he manages to open. "That trick still works on these locks." Jesse gloats.  
Danny and DJ look at Jesse with a shocked look on their face. Stephanie just smiles.  
"What? I had to know if she wasn't writing down bad things about my hair."  
Michelle takes the diary from Jesse and opens it at a random page. "Mom mentions your hair on this page." Michelle starts reading out loud.

_August 10, 1972  
__Dear diary. Today was the hottest day of summer. So dad decided we would go to the swimming pool. My dad got sunburned so my mother took him out into the shadow. Jesse and I wanted to stay in the sun and near the water, so I had to watch him. But Jesse would not be Jesse if he didn't disappeared somehow. I have been looking all over for him, and finally I found him in the toilet building, checking his hair in the mirror. I sure hope he doesn't get a hair obsession later on in his life. That reminds me of this morning I wanted to do my hair, but I couldn't find my brush anywhere. Finally I found it in Jesse's room. He said he needed it because he was afraid to get difficult hair. Not a silly thought, considering how hard to handle he can be himself. But I love my little brother and maybe he'll ease down when he grows up.  
__Love, Pam_

"Well, she got your obsession right," Joey says.  
"I'm not obsessed. I just love my hair. And my hair loves me." Jesse replies.  
"Here she's writing about you, DJ." Stephanie starts reading.

_May 24, 1977  
__Dear diary. About a month ago Donna Jo Margareth, was born. We just call her DJ. I already adore my little girl and so does Danny. He found a job at the local network as a sportscaster. When he gets home, his first words are: "Hi honey". If he says that, he doesn't mean me, but the kid. But I think it's sweet the way he treats her. He's going to be a great father. __I believe the birth of my child also affects Jesse. Last week he came by with a stuffed animal. I can't remember I ever saw that special look in his eyes that he has when he's with DJ before. And I have to admit, he looks sweet when he's with her. Having a baby also means a loss of freedom. I can't do all the things I used to do, like going to the movies with Danny, without getting someone to babysit. Danny's best friend Joey offered to do it, but I don't know if that's a good idea. Last month he took dogsitting his neighbors' dog too literally and he sat on the poor creature. Oh, I believe my little miracle is calling me right now, so this is it for today.  
__Love, Pam._

"Did you really sit on that dog?" Stephanie asks Joey.  
"Hey, nobody explained what it really meant."  
"And who sat on your brain when you were young? " Jesse jokes.  
"I think that was the neighbor's dog as well," Joey ponders.  
"I remember this day," Danny says, while he's looking at a diary.

_June 5, 1981  
__Dear diary. Sorry for not writing for a while. To be honest with you, the only reason I write now, is because I found you in a closet. Figure that. Pamela Tanner, who forgets about her own diary. Kind of ironic for someone who had that thing since she was five years old. Only back then I made drawings of everything that happened. Today was a very hot day, and summer hasn't even begun yet. Danny and I took little DJ to the beach. Danny took some pictures of DJ and me. He was standing in the same position for too long though, and he forgot to take of his shirt. So now Danny's skin is white where his t-shirt was, and his arms and legs are as red as the roses he gave me on my birthday last year. There's one thing that I really have to tell you, diary. I'm going to have another baby. I heard it last Friday. I'm almost two months pregnant now. So our family of three will become a family of four next winter. I couldn't be happier after I heard that news.  
__Love, Pam_

"Look, here she mentions you, Steph," DJ says.

_February 19, 1982  
__Dear diary. One month ago Stephanie Judith was born. She's such a beautiful girl. She has the cutest little smile and she keeps asking for attention. That reminds me of yesterday, when Jesse came by. He was playing with DJ and baby Stephanie felt a little left out I guess. She started crying, and she had a look in her eyes like she wanted to say 'How rude!' or something like that to Jesse. But when he made some funny faces, she was satisfied. Danny also can't get enough of her. He comes home with presents for her every day. Sometimes Donna Jo gets jealous. She's almost 5 years old now, and when Stephanie gets a present, she wants to have one too. We keep telling her that she got many presents too when she was little, but she keeps going on about it, until we buy her something. I think Joey is more fair at that point. Every time he comes by, he has brings both girls something. But now Danny and I forbid him to do that every time. He came by every day, and Stephanie's room can't have any more stuffed animals. Well, dear diary, I guess this is all for today. I need some sleep now, and I have to feed the baby. But I will keep in touch with you,  
__Love, Pam._

"I think we all remember this day," Jesse says, taking the diary from DJ.

_November 28, 1986  
__Dear diary. Again I stopped writing for a while because I had so many things on my mind. But I have to tell you that about one and a half week ago, when our third daughter was born. We call her Michelle Elizabeth. Danny's really crazy with her. And now he has found a new thing to do: taping everything the girl and I do. He even tried to tape the birth of the baby, but thank god, he got so nervous that he forgot to take of the lid from the camera lens. My dad was a little disappointed that again he didn't get a grandson, but he's crazy about all of my little angels.A few days ago I came home with the baby. Joey drove me home from the hospital, and Danny started taping us. I brought DJ and Stephanie some presents too. I gave Stephanie a stuffed bear. She keeps calling it 'Mr. Bear'. DJ got a bracelet. You had to see those faces. They were so sweet. So adorable. Just like their new sister. Stephanie likes the idea of not being the youngest around the house anymore. But the first thing DJ could think about was that when she teases Stephanie, Stephanie can tease somebody too. Poor Michelle. She's so cute. I believe I can write about my little girls for days, but I think the baby is calling for a clean diaper.  
__Love, Pam_

Danny sighs. A tear rolls over his cheek.  
"Are you okay, dad?" Michelle asks.  
"Yeah, I'm just reading the final written page in her last diary. I wrote it myself." Danny takes a deep breath and starts reading.

_March 13, 1987  
__Dear diary. It's a sad time. I'm writing now because Pam can't do this anymore. I know she did, and I think I have to end her story. Because that's what you really are. You're the story of Pam's life. And her book will contain many empty pages after this one. Last week… It's very hard to me, but I know she wants this. The girls are all a sleep now. My mom came over the minute she heard about it... It was terrible. The car… Nothing left of it. And all because of some drunk maniac. He had to stop, but he didn't… They tried to save her life at the hospital, but they couldn't… It's a big loss to this world, she was the kind of woman… She could… She'd make you happy when you felt said. Just by being there. Her smile, her voice… I can't go on anymore. It's too hard for me. When I write this down, I see her standing in this room, or sitting on this bed writing in her diary. And now… The day before her funeral, I have been sitting next to her coffin all day. They had to drag me away from there…. She looked so…so.. peaceful. But I want her back. She was everything I ever dreamed of. And now she… how will I go on… the girls…the house… I'm happy nobody's here. I don't want the girls to see me cry. I don't want that… But I can't stop it…  
__It's over, it's all over.  
__Pam, I loved you, and I always will… You'll be in my heart… forever  
__I miss you already,  
__Danny_

Danny closes the book. His shoulders shake and he puts his head in his hands. Stephanie, with tears on her face, sits down on the elbow rest of the chair and puts her arm around his neck.  
"It's so unfair," She whispers.  
"I think I know what I'm going to write my essay about." Michelle says.  
"About mom?" DJ tries to hide her emotions.  
"Yeah. What if she hadn't died? She would read us bedtime stories, nurse us when we were ill, and cheer us up when we were sad. We would have the greatest mom on earth!" Michelle tells the others, with tears in her eyes.  
"You bet we would," DJ says.  
"It might sound crazy, but even after eight years, I still expect her to walk and cheer us all up with her smile," Jesse says.  
"DJ, I think I get what you were trying to tell me about what if stories this morning. I… I wish I still had a mommy, but that would mean I had to miss out on having uncle Jesse and Joey and aunt Becky and Nicky and Alex here."  
Danny looks at his youngest daughter with tears in his eyes. "It's like I heard your mother talking. I'm sorry, I…" Danny's shoulders start shaking again. The girls all hug him. Together they share their tears for Pam Tanner, who died over eight years before.

- **End Tune **-

**Main characters  
**Jesse Katsopolis  
Danny Tanner  
Joey Gladstone  
DJ Tanner  
Stephanie tanner  
Michelle Tanner  
Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson-Katsopolis  
Nicky Katsopolis  
Alex Katsopolis  
Kimmy Gibbler  
Steve Hale

**Guest characters:  
**None

******Episode information:**  
Story written by: Martin van Dam  
Based upon: The orignal series of Full House, created by Jeff Franklin

**Written for:  
**Full House Forever ( ), where you can also find more diary highlights of Pam.

**Originally released  
**21-08-2012


End file.
